Not Afraid by Elizabeth Monvey

Author:Elizabeth Monvey [Monvey, Elizabeth]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Evernight Publishing
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Four

The alarm clock went off and Gus groaned, rolling over to hit the off button. He rubbed a weary hand over his face and glanced out the window, where the morning streaks of dawn should have been, only grey clouds rested. Great, just what he needed, a slow day. He’d slept like shit last night, dreaming about last year’s Memorial Day picnic, and now his cock was standing up like a flag pole. If he had Raleigh here, he’d be able to get those amazing lips wrapped around his dick for some morning loving. Instead, he was going to have to jack off in the shower while imagining Raleigh’s tight ass.

He sighed. Who was he trying to kid? After last night, he doubted Raleigh would talk to him again. He threw back the covers and rose to head to the bathroom. As he stood under the hot water, he wondered what was wrong with him that he couldn’t just man up and claim Raleigh like he wanted to. Of course, he wanted them to be together. Raleigh was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He’d spent his high school football career pretending he had a girlfriend away at college, and once he’d graduated, his pop had turned over the store before bolting to Florida to retire. Why did every old person flee to Florida? They had hurricanes and alligators.

His morning jerk off in the shower was less than thrilling and mostly about easing the pressure in his balls. As he dried and dressed, he kept seeing Raleigh’s angry face as he stormed away, and he couldn’t help but think something had changed last night.

What if Raleigh ended it between them? Could he watch Raleigh live his life and not be a part of it, even if what they had existed mainly in the secret shadows? Not really, no. Raleigh was like… a revelation. He’d been the one to open up a world of loving and acceptance. Before they’d become lovers, he’d had trouble existing in his own skin. Not even his pop knew he was gay.

The morning was nothing but rain, and he was busy selling rain gear. The afternoon was slow, and he spent the hours fixing the painting section, making sure all the cans were even on the shelf. Then he dusted, restocked, and rearranged, and still Raleigh lingered in his mind.

Gus realized he was scared. He was scared he wouldn’t have the opportunity to have Raleigh in his arms again. That he wouldn’t kiss Raleigh’s lips or touch his heavenly body. It slowly dawned on him that Raleigh always told him he loved him, but never once had he uttered the words back.

He couldn’t.

If he said he loved Raleigh, then what’s the next step? Raleigh wanted to be out and proud, but Gus… yes, he was scared. He was afraid of all the repercussions that would happen if their small country town knew they had a gay couple in their midst.

The front door opened and Berryl walked in.

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